Global Woman by Barbara Ehrenreich

Author:Barbara Ehrenreich
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Henry Holt and Co.
Published: 2011-08-08T16:00:00+00:00

Living with Foreign Men: Fantasies Versus Realities

Because migrating to Europe is a relatively new phenomenon, not many former sex workers—Nanci is an exception—have returned to Sosúa to dispel the myths and gossip of an easy and fantasy-filled life allá (over there). Instead, the women imagine that foreign men will provide them with material comfort and possibly better treatment. They dream of European men “rescuing” them from a lifetime of poverty and foreclosed opportunities. They expect to trade love and romance for financial security and mobility. After all, these relationships are for residencia, not for amor.

Even after relationships end and women return to Sosúa broke, sex workers in the Sosúa community often still idealize their failed migration stories. Jürgen’s alcoholism, for example, and his fighting with Elena were never mentioned in the gossip mill. Elena’s friends focused on the money he gave her to feed the household, not on the fact that she did all the food shopping and preparation, on top of all the other household chores. Similarly, Nanci’s friends never mentioned the social and economic isolation she suffered when they spoke of her time in Germany. And while Carmen’s careful hedging strategy earned her snickers from sex workers who disdained lower-paying Dominican clients, she became the talk of the sex-work community when she later married an Austrian man and moved to Austria.

Because actually going to Europe is a rare prize, sex workers often talk about what they would do to make the most of it if they won the opportunity to migrate. Sex workers fancy that they would do what Andrea did: after marrying her German boyfriend and moving with her two girls to Germany, Andrea left him for another German man. This second German man, her cousin in Sosúa explained to me, “had more money.” It was common knowledge that Andrea did not love her first husband. “He is very fat,” various sex workers made a point of repeating. Nor did her friends pretend that she loved her current boyfriend. But Andrea was lucky enough to get off the island. Now she is expected—and willingly acquiesces—to help the other single mothers in her family, her parents, and her good friends, such as Elena, with remittances. She has even sent new sneakers, jeans, and belts to a circle of her closest friends (all sex workers).

With so many financial expectations and demands on Andrea, there is pressure on her to keep her relationship afloat, no matter what. Women such as Andrea become symbols of all that is possible in Europe, while Nanci’s friends blame her for the breakup of her marriage. After her own experience with Jürgen, Elena says “Nanci never should have moved to Sosua with her husband with all these sex workers here. No man would stick around.”12 Considering the benefits for family, and even friends, it is easy to see why sex workers, sporting new fashions from Europe, perpetuate the fiction that marriage in Europe is without significant conflict. Language barriers, cultural differences, and racism are all waved aside.

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